


As a Result of the Apocalypse

by Bookworm445



Series: Dirk Week 2017 [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dirk Week 2017, Gen, I HAVE HONESTLY NO IDEA WHAT TO TAG, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-22 12:56:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9608483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookworm445/pseuds/Bookworm445
Summary: Day 2 of Dirk Week: Happy





	

Your name is Dirk Strider and you are going to meet with your friends in the flesh for the first time.

It’s extenuating circumstances and you wish that you weren’t meeting them like this, but it is what it is, you guess. The Red Miles flare in the sky above you as your attention splits between places, one a deep purple, the other unbroken blue. Well, what would be unbroken blue. Unfortunately, there is red everywhere - the miles, the Batterwitch’s robots. You start out of your thoughts at seeing Jane and Jake on Derse. They are not supposed to be there - what’s going on? After that everything goes blurry.

It all becomes clear again as you cut off your own head.

Everything is blurry again until you are standing in front of Jake, Jane, and Roxy on either side. He’s holding your decapitated head, and your blood stains his lips. Your heart leaps in your chest. You’re alive - all of you - and standing on Jake’s island, together. _Together_. You’ve never been in the same general area as someone _alive_ until today, and that fact scares you and delights you in equal measure. But you still have one last thing to do - Jake must destroy his Cruxite Artifact for you to enter the game. Then and only then will you allow yourself you notice all this. 

You gather around Jake’s Artifact - a Tree of some kind, and when he shoots the fruit dangling from it (or is that a piñata?) everything disappears in a flash of light.

When you open your eyes you are standing on a planet of green. There are hills that stretch for miles and structures made of a red stone scattered amongst the green. You are all standing in the ruins of Jake’s house, and you finally let yourself internally freak out. You’re standing here surrounded by your friends and for the first time in your life, you can _actually touch_ another human being. You see Roxy realize as she literally leaps at Jane, both of them falling from her momentum. Jake starts laughing and you stare, mesmerized. Jake is here in front of you, Roxy is here in front of you, _Jane is here in front of you_.

You don’t realize you’ve started crying until Jake turns to you.

“Dirk? Are you alright, chap?” You hear him say, and finally, notice the way your cheeks feel wet. You shove a hand up under your sunglasses to wipe away the tears. You let out a wet laugh. You feel so happy right now that you don’t know what to do with yourself, but you have no way of communicating that.

“Dirky?” Roxy says, having moved off Jane. She stops next to you and puts a hand on your shoulder. You flinch and watch as she realizes what’s going on.

“Oh, Dirk,” and then you’re wrapped in a hug.

  
“What?” You hear Jane say, “What’s going on?” Roxy ignores her in favor of hugging you and you are so grateful for that. And then you hear,

  
“I would also like to know what this malarkey is about,” and that’s Jake’s voice and you can’t…

timaeusTestified [TT] opened a memo on the board “As a Result of the Apocalypse” at ??:??

timaeusTestified [TT] invited gutsyGumshoe [GG] to the memo!

timaeusTestified [TT] invited golgothasTerror [GT] to the memo!

timaeusTestified [TT] invited tipsyGnostalgic [TG] to the memo!

TT: Dirk can’t talk. He never learned how to. It took a while, but he eventually learned to understand people whilst they’re speaking, but he never figured out how to make the sounds himself.

TG: he only ever had the robobs didnt he

TG: *robots

TT: Yeah.

GG: What’s this about the memo title? “As a Result of the Apocalypse”? What apocalypse? And Dirk can’t speak? How so? He must have gone to school, and he had his Guardian.

GT: Gadzooks! Dirk told me he raised himself, of course, but I never considered the implications of such a thing!

TG: shouldnt dirky be in this????

TT: I’m here.

TT: Shouldn’t we explain the apocalypse to Jane first?

TG: will she belive us tho

TG: will u belive is janey????

TG: *us *believe

GG: Given that we just entered a game in which I have already died once, I believe that I am more ready to believe the impossible than I was before.

GT: I am quite inclined to believe a statement like that from such a sincere person as jane!

TT: Cliff Notes version, then.

TT: The apocalypse was caused by the head of Betty Crocker. The ICP became the first and last Presidents of the United States. Guy Fieri was hailed as the antichrist. Dirk’s brother, Dave, killed the ICP whilst Roxy’s mom, Rose, went after Fieri. After they succeeded in their tasks, they went after the Batterwitch and fell to her hand.

TT: Roxy and Dirk were ‘born’ in 2409. Roxy had creatures called Carapacians looking after her, whilst Dirk relied on a puppet you guys know as Lil’ Cal, and the robots that he built himself.

TG: i knew u only had puppets n those robobs but dirkkyy :( why didnt u tell us??????

GG: I want to know why I was never told such important facts about my friend’s lives!

TT: You wouldn’t’ve believed us.

TT: We tried so many times to talk to you but you’re honestly so skeptical that you never believed us.

GT: You didnt know if id believe you when you told me dirk!

TG: jakey u r not helping

TG: janey were sorry i really wanted 2 tell u btu u never belivedv us b4!!!!

TG: *but *believed

 

You start as more arms wrap around you. It’s Jane pressed against you on your left, as Roxy is still commandeering your right.

“I’m sorry I never believed you,” she whispers in your ear but it’s okay because you forgave her ages ago. Then you sense something and look up - it’s Jake, and he kneels down to where you’re kneeling on the ground with Jane and Roxy and leans in. You’re surrounded on all sides by your best friends and it’s the best thing you’ve felt in a long while.

 

TT: Thanks.

**Author's Note:**

> HOw DOES JAKE TALK


End file.
